PRE-MARITAL PREPERATION
Please complete the following
questions:
1. The most important thing in marriage is.....
2. I am most uncomfortable when people.....
3. People like me best when.....
4. If I could be different, I would wish for.....
5. What I want most in my mate is.....
6. Generally speaking, my childhood was.....
7. My father is.....
8. My mother is.....
10. My relationship with my brothers and sisters is.....
11. My definition of the ideal marriage is.....
12. My goal in life is.....
13. Love means.....
14.
Is your “intended” ready and mature
enough for a lifetime commitment?
15.
How long have you known each other?
16.
How long have you been dating?
17.
How long have you been “serious”?
18.
Do you have a sexual relationship now?
19.
Are you living together now?
20.
How has God been a part of your
relationship so far?
Family Issues
1. How
many children do you want?
a. What sex?
b. When do you plan to start having children
c. How do you pick their names?
d. What kind of school will they be in?
e. Will you provide college funds?
f. Who helps with homework?
g. Who goes to PTA?
h. Who gets up at 3 a.m. to feed?
i. Who disciplines?
j. What kind of discipline will be used?
2. Will your child be permitted to take
vacations away from you?
i. With
who?
ii. How
long?
3. Will both of you work after you have children?
a. Who stays home?
b. What
type of daycare?
c. Until the child is how old?
4. What
kind of clothes will you buy them?
5. Will
they have a computer, TV, etc. in their room?
1.
What kind of home?
2.
Where?
3.
What color?
4.
Who picks the furniture?
5.
Who picks the décor?
6.
How much landscaping?
7.
Who cleans the house?
8.
Who maintains the yard?
9.
What type of vehicle?
a. Who
picks it?
b. How
many?
c. Who
maintains?
10.
Will you be able to go out with friends
without your spouse?
a. For
how long?
b. How
far away?
c. For
what reason?
11.
How often will guests be invited over?
a. How
do you decide when?
b. How
do you decide who?
12.
Will alcohol be allowed in your home?
a. Will
use of alcohol be permitted?
13.
Will illegal drugs be allowed in your
home?
a. Will
the use of drugs be permitted?
14.
Will tobacco, in any form, be allowed
in your home?
a. Will
use of tobacco, in any form, be permitted?
15.
Will there be a TV in the home?
a. How
much TV is OK
b. How
much TV will the kids be allowed to watch?
c. What
kind of TV will the kids be allowed to watch?
16.
Will the internet be allowed in the
home?
a. Will
the kids have access to the internet?
b. Will
it be a filtered internet service?
c. What
type of sites will they be permitted to view?
d. Will
the kids have access to e-mail?
e. How
will you monitor internet and e-mail usage?
17.
Do you have any hobbies?
a. How
much time goes into your hobbies?
b. How
much money goes into your hobbies?
18.
Who does the cooking?
a. What
kind of food?
b. How
many “big meals? A week?
19.
Will junk food be allowed in your home?
a. Will
the kids be allowed to eat junk food?
b. How
much?
20.
Will you have any pets?
a. What
kind?
b. How
many?
c. Who
cares for them?
d. Who
takes them to the Vet?
21.
Who will be your physician?
22.
Who will be your dentist?
23.
Who is your OBY/GEN?
24.
Do you have/will you have health
insurance?
25.
Do you have/will you have supplemental
insurance?
26.
What are your cultural and intellectual
interests?(opera, sports,etc)
27.
What type of books do you enjoy?
28.
What type of movies do you enjoy?
29.
What are your favorite restaurants?
30.
What level of education do you have?
31.
What are your educational goals?
Spiritual
Values
1.
Your religious background:
A. Do you know what it means to be a "born
again Christian?"
B. Are you a Christian?
C. Is your prospective mate a Christian?
D. What church do you belong to?
E. To what church or denomination does your
prospective mate belong to now?
F. If there are differences above, how will the
two of you resolve them?
2. Do you plan for your family to be active and
regular in church
life and attendance?
3. Will
religion be taught in the home? By
Who?
4. Will faith be a guiding issue in your home?
5.
Who is God?
6. Have you discussed spiritual issues together?
7. Will religious symbols/items be displayed
in the home?
8. Have you considered what church the two of
you will attend after you are married?
9 What one thing would make you the happiest
person in the world?
10. What is necessary for you to have a happy
home?
11. What emphasis will you place upon the
accumulation of wealth and property in your marriage?
12. Do either of you feel the need to use drugs,
(alcohol or ?), to achieve a happy
life?
13. Have you discussed spiritual issues
together?
14.What have you
found during these discussions?
Your
Family and In-Laws
1. Do your parents know you are planning to
marry?
2. Do they approve of your intention to marry?
3. How are your parents and homes alike? Different? (family size, religion, education,
ethnic backgrounds, age, income)
4. How well do you know each other's families?
5. Will you live with (or near) either set of
parents after you are married?
6. How emotionally close are you to your
parents?
7. How independent are you from your parents?
8. How
long should family members stay in your home for visits?
9. How do you decide if someone stays with you?
10. How often should parents come to visit?
11. What rights does a visitor have in your
home?
a. Tobacco
(in any form)
b. Drugs
c. Drinking
d. Kitchen
access?
e. Time
alone with spouse?
f. Time
with Children?
12. Who do you visit on Holidays?
Matters
of Financial Concern
1. Will you develop and use a budget?
2. Will you establish a joint bank account?
3. Which of you is best qualified to pay the
bills? Keep the checkbook?
4. What can money accomplish for you?
5. Will you accept subsidies from your parents?
Loans?
6.
Whose money is it?
7.
How do you decide on major purchases?
a. What
is a major purchase?
8.
How much to savings?
9.
How much to God?
10.
How much money will be used for
hobbies? Entertainment?
11.
Will you have life insurance?
a. How
much?
b. Who
is covered?
c. Who
is the beneficiary?
Roles
and Expectations
1. What are a model husband and wife like?
2. Who would you look to as a model husband and
wife?
3. What is your concept of family leadership?
4. How do you plan to make major family
decisions?
5. How do you feel about traditional husband
and wife roles in comparison to new roles?
6. Is there "women's work" and
"men's work" in a household?
7. How do you plan to handle household routines
and chores?
8. How will you deal with conflict in role
expectations?
Verbal
Communication
(Answer each question Yes or No for
yourself, then answer each question as you think your prospective spouse would
answer.
1. Does your spouse wait until you are through
before having his or her say?
2. Does your family do things as a group?
3. Does your family talk things over with each
other?
4. Does your spouse seem to respect your
opinion?
5. Do you discuss personal problems with your
spouse?
6. Does your spouse tend to talk to you as if you
were less capable than you are?
7. Does your spouse show an interest in your
interests and activities?
8. Do you discuss matters of sex with your
spouse?
9. Does your spouse trust you?
10. Do you find it hard to say what you really
feel?
11. Does your spouse have confidence in your
abilities?
12. Do
you hesitate to disagree?
13. Does your spouse try to see your side of
things?
14. Does your spouse consider your opinion in
making decisions?
15. Does your spouse try to make you feel better
when you are down in the dumps?
16.
Do you help your spouse to understand
you by telling him or her how you think and feel?
Nonverbal
Communication
"Even when you do not say so, I
know you are....."
1. happy when.....
2. nervous and/or anxious when.....
3. angry when.....
4. preoccupied when.....
5. sad when.....
6. worried when.....
7. understanding when.....
8. love me when.....
9. trustworthy when.....
10. feeling sexy when.....
11. (will be) a good mate when.....
12. disappointed with me when.....
Two last questions: