Bullies and Believers
Defeating bullying in our midst
Shedding the old Person and becoming a
new Creation!
Becoming a BETTER person
The threat and effect of bullying
is very real
1.
Bullying
is a very real and present danger
a.
It
is not harmless
b.
It
is not a minor problem
i.
One
life lost is too many
ii.
One
person destroyed is too many
c.
Crosswalk.com
reported that over 60,000 kids miss school because of bullying
d.
The
American Psychological Association reported that 90 percent of 4th –
8th graders report being victims of bullying in some form
e.
Several
school violence events have been sparked by bullying
i.
Columbine
being the most infamous
2.
Bullying
is really individual terrorism
a.
Wrecks
lives
b.
Brings
a life of fear to people
c.
Breeds
rebellion
d.
Leads
to fights
e.
Leads
to suicides
f.
Leads
to low self esteem
g.
Destroys
character
3.
Bullying
can take the form of:
a.
Spreading
rumors
b.
Teasing
c.
Exclusion
d.
Threats
e.
Gossip
f.
Mean
words
g.
Name
calling
h.
Oppression
i.
Slavery
j.
Taking
advantage
k.
Hitting
l.
Kicking
m.
Pushing
n.
Other
physical violence
o.
Stealing
p.
Damaging
property
i.
Graffiti
ii.
Destruction
iii.
other
4.
So
many just give into the bully
a.
Surrender
their power and life over to them
i.
In his book Fuzzy Memories, Jack Handey
writes: There used to be this bully who would demand my lunch money every day.
Since I was smaller, I would give it to him. Then I decided to fight back. I
started taking karate lessons. But then the karate lesson guy said I had to
start paying him five dollars a lesson. So I just went back to paying the
bully.
Too many people feel it is easier just to pay the bully than it is to learn how
to defeat him.
5.
There
is hope and help for those experiencing bullying and for the bullier
a.
One
of my all time favorite TV shows, for having good moral lessons as plot lines,
was the "Andy Griffith Show." There was an episode where young Opie
was having his "Milk nickel" bullied away from him and could not
afford any milk for lunch. "You wouldn’t want me to get weak bones?"
Well, Andy found out about the trouble and looked to find a way to help Opie
without making Opie ashamed or dependent of his fathers help all of the time.
In itself this is a good lesson to parents, children must learn, and earn, some
things on their own in order for them to fully appreciate it later in life, but
that is not our point in this illustration. Andy began to tell Opie about the
time that Odie Snitch stole Andy’s fishing hole away from him when he was
Opie’s age. Young Andy had to eventually face Odie Snitch to rid himself of his
awful feeling of being "Lilly livered" and found that a punch in the
nose didn’t really hurt when taken for a good cause and that bullies often
can’t back up their words with deeds. Opie took the words to heart and faced
down his extortionist the next day. Opie came away with a "Bute" of a
shiner, but he didn’t even feel the black eye because the sweet feeling of the
loosing his trouble and regaining what was rightfully his.
i.
The
point, you may ask? No trouble is as bad as it once seemed when completed than
it did when we first dreaded and feared it.
ii.
I
would never advocate responding to a bully with violence, but it has proven
worthy of our consideration. Not because
of the violent act, but because of the empowering act of standing up for
yourself, your person and your rights.
iii.
Taylor
Swift said “If you're horrible to me, I'm going to write a song about it, and you
won't like it. That's how I operate.”
iv.
“Some
people won't be happy until they've pushed you to the ground. What you have to
do is have the courage to stand your ground and not give them the time of day.
Hold on to your power and never give it away.”
b.
Seek
Help
i.
Counselors
and Teachers
ii.
Staff
iii.
Law
enforcement
iv.
Pastors,
Priests, Rabbi, etc.
v.
Friends
vi.
Parents
and family
c.
Get
involved in team sports or activities
i.
Bands,
athletic teams and other group activities promote acceptance, team work and
family
ii.
Being
part of something positive is good for us
d.
Know
who you are
i.
You
are a masterpiece of God’s Creation
ii.
You
may not be perfect, but no one else is either
iii.
Be
patient, honorable and respectful
1.
Do
not allow the bully pull you down to a low level
a.
You
seek to improve yourself, to raise your character and reputation.
e.
Get
to Know Jesus Christ
i.
He
loves you
ii.
He
has a plan for you
iii.
He
took on the ultimate bully and was entirely victorious
1.
He
did this for you!
2.
His
stripes can heal your wounds
f.
Treat
others the way you would like to be treated
i.
Many
bullies are bullied
ii.
Many
bullies have a horrid home life
iii.
Many
bullies are poor
iv.
Many
bullies are jealous
v.
Many
bullies have no power or control so they try to gain them over others
vi.
Many
bullies are raised or taught to be racist or sexist
vii.
Many
bullies are alone
viii.
Many
bullies are afraid
ix.
Many
bullies separate themselves from a mainstream they believe will not accept them
and become involved in sub cultures
1.
Gangs
Anatomy of a Bully
1.
Afraid
2.
Socially
awkward
3.
Jealous
4.
Angry
5.
Liar
6.
Deceitful
7.
Trouble
maker
8.
Hurting
9.
Lustful
a.
Lust
for power
b.
Lust
for control
c.
Lust
for people
i.
A
boy usually teases the girl
10. Killer
a.
Character
b.
Reputation
c.
Person
11. Eager to do wrong
12. Sow discord
a.
Cause
division
b.
Break
couples up
c.
Get
someone fired
Scriptures
Proverbs 6:12-21 “What are worthless and wicked people like?
They are constant liars, signaling their deceit with a wink of the eye, a nudge
of the foot, or the wiggle of fingers. Their
perverted hearts plot evil, and they constantly stir up trouble. But they will
be destroyed suddenly, broken in an instant beyond all hope of healing. There
are six things the Lord hates— no, seven things he detests: haughty
eyes, a lying tongue, hands that kill the innocent, a heart that plots evil,
feet that race to do wrong, a false witness who pours out lies, a person who
sows discord in a family. My son, obey your father's commands, and don't neglect
your mother's instruction. Keep their words always in your heart. Tie them
around your neck.”
NLT
Living
above Bullying / Believers Beating Bullying
Leviticus 19:17-19 “Do
not nurse hatred in your heart for any of your relatives Confront
people directly so you will not be held guilty for their sin. "Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge
against a fellow Israelite, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord . "You must obey all my
decrees.” NLT
1.
Don’t
carry hate
2.
Talk
to people you disagree with – DIRECTLY
a.
Not
behind their backs
b.
Not
gossip
3.
LET
IT GO! Don’t seek revenge
a.
There
is no prize for the amount of wrong you hold on to
4.
LOVE
YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF
5.
Obey
God
Christians should be working hard
to teach and encourage:
·
Better
friendships
·
More
confidence
·
Individual
courage
·
Servanthood
– helping others
·
Being
ok with who you are – being the person God made you to be
·
Better
grades
·
Better
health
·
Doing
the right thing
·
Character
·
Citizenship
·
Morality
·
Unity
Matthew
5:43-48 "You have heard the law that says, 'Love your neighbor and hate
your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! In
that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he
gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just
and the unjust alike. If you love only those who love you, what reward is there
for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. If you are kind only to
your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that. But
you are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect.” NLT
1.
Love
your neighbor
2.
Love
your enemies
3.
Pray
for those who attack you
4.
Do
not take the easy road (love those easy to love)
5.
Rise
above the culture and their influence
6. Dare to be
different
Ephesians 4:29 “Don't
use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so
that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.” NLT
1.
Watch your mouth
a.
If you cannot say something good about someone then don’t say
anything at all
2.
Do not use foul language.
Profanity
3.
Do not use abusive language.
Gossip, hate, lies, crude
4. Use
your words to encourage, not discourage or destroy
Micah 6:8 “No, O people, the Lord has told you what
is good, and this is what he requires of you: to do what is right, to love
mercy, and to walk humbly with your God.” NLT
1.
Do
what is Right – by God’s standards – not mans
2.
Love
mercy – love treating people right, whether they deserve it or not.
a.
You
do not know their life
b.
You
do not know their stress
c.
You
do not know just how close to exploding they are
3.
Walk
humbly with God
a.
Realize
that you are far from perfect yourself
b.
You
are flawed, faulty and failing
c.
Matthew7:1-5
“Do
not judge others, and you will not be judged. For you will be treated as you
treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will
be judged. "And why worry about a speck in your friend's eye when you have
a log in your own? How can you think of saying to your friend, 'Let me help you
get rid of that speck in your eye,' when you can't see past the log in your own
eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see
well enough to deal with the speck in your friend's eye. “
Romans 12:9-18 “Don't just pretend to love others. Really
love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other
with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring
each other. Never be lazy, but work hard
and serve the Lord enthusiastically. Rejoice
in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. When God's
people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice
hospitality. Bless those who persecute
you. Don't curse them; pray that God will bless them. Be happy with those who
are happy, and weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with each other. Don't
be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don't think you know
it all! Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that
everyone can see you are honorable. Do all that you can to live in peace with
everyone.” NLT
1.
Really
love others
a.
Don’t
be fake
b.
Really
care
c.
Be
really committed to others
2.
Hate
what is wrong
a.
Hate
bullying, not the bully
b.
Ephesian
6:10-12 “A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on
all of God's armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all
strategies of the devil. For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood
enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against
mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly
places.”
i.
Our
bigger problem is not the people who are our problem
1.
They
are but tool/weapons
a.
You
do not blame the gun: Guns don’t kill people, people kill people
b.
You
don’t blame the pencil: pencils don’t
misspell words, people misspell words
c.
Behind
every drug smuggler caught is a drug gang and leadership that enticed him,
tempted him, threatened him and used him.
d.
Behind
every murderer, liar, misspeller, and drug trafficker there is:
i.
A
demand for drugs
ii.
A
darkness willing to provide them
iii.
A
greed willing to exploit people and destroy lives to get rich.
ii.
Our
bigger problems are
1.
Satan
and his minions
a.
Satan
is the ultimate bully
i.
The
“Anti Jesus”
ii.
He
is hate and destruction
iii.
He
is NOT on your side
iv.
He
wants to destroy you
b.
The
“behind the scenes” dark rulers
i.
The
ones who are pulling the strings
ii.
The
influences and addictions that spread darkness
2.
Sin/flesh
a.
“The
heart wants what the heart wants”
b.
Temptation
to satisfy our flesh
i.
Food
ii.
Sex
iii.
Power
iv.
Control
v.
Drugs/alcohol
vi.
Arrogance
vii.
Self
viii.
Pride
3.
Honor
each other
a.
Recognize
other accomplishments publically
i.
Applaud
others
ii.
Build
them up
iii.
Look
for the good
b.
Deal
with their problems privately (Lev 19)
i.
Management
says to reward publically but discipline privately
4.
Be
patient in Trouble
a.
Don’t “Fly off the handle”
b.
Don’t
“lose your temper”
c.
You
DO HAVE CONTROL
i.
You
just may not want it
1.
So
you let it roar.
5.
Keep
praying
6.
Really
help those who are in need
a.
Help
the Bullied
b.
Help
the bully
7.
Be
hospitable
a.
Friendly
and welcoming to strangers or guests
8.
Bless
those who persecute you
a.
Be
nice and helpful to the one bullying you
9.
Do
not curse people
10. Empathize with
people
a.
Luke
10:30-37 “Jesus replied with a story: "A Jewish man was traveling on a trip
from Jerusalem to Jericho, and he was attacked by bandits. They stripped him of
his clothes, beat him up, and left him half dead beside the road. "By
chance a priest came along. But when he saw the man lying there, he crossed to
the other side of the road and passed him by. A Temple assistant walked over
and looked at him lying there, but he also passed by on the other side.
"Then a despised Samaritan came along, and when he saw the man, he felt
compassion for him. Going over to him, the Samaritan soothed his wounds with
olive oil and wine and bandaged them. Then he put the man on his own donkey and
took him to an inn, where he took care of him. The next day he handed the
innkeeper two silver coins, telling him, 'Take care of this man. If his bill
runs higher than this, I'll pay you the next time I'm here.' "Now which of these three would you say
was a neighbor to the man who was attacked by bandits?" Jesus asked. The man replied, "The one who showed him
mercy." Then Jesus said, "Yes, now go and do the same."
11. Live in harmony
with people
a.
To
be in agreement
b.
All
the parts working together
Jesus took the
Bullying so we would not have to!
Jesus was bullied by
the government, the temple elite, the community business people, everyone
·
The “Sin Business”people were attacking Him because they lost
money
o
Acts 16:16-24 “One
day as we were going down to the place of prayer, we met a demon-possessed
slave girl. She was a fortune-teller who earned a lot of money for her masters.
She followed Paul and the rest of us, shouting, "These men are servants of
the Most High God, and they have come to tell you how to be saved." This went on day after day until Paul got so
exasperated that he turned and said to the demon within her, "I command
you in the name of Jesus Christ to come out of her." And instantly it left
her. Her masters' hopes of wealth were now shattered, so they grabbed Paul and
Silas and dragged them before the authorities at the marketplace. "The
whole city is in an uproar because of these Jews!" they shouted to the
city officials. "They are teaching customs that are illegal for us Romans
to practice." A mob quickly formed
against Paul and Silas, and the city officials ordered them stripped and beaten
with wooden rods. They were severely beaten, and then they were thrown into
prison. The jailer was ordered to make sure they didn't escape. So the jailer
put them into the inner dungeon and clamped their feet in the stocks.”
·
Temple Elite were attacking Him because they lost power and influence
·
The government leaders were attacking Him because they felt they
were losing power and control
·
The kings were attacking Him because they did not want their
people worshipping anyone except them
·
The people were attacking Him because He was upsetting the “Status
Quo”
Their bullying did
not work out so well for them then, and it doesn’t work out so well today.
Romans 3:23-26 “For
everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God's glorious standard. Yet God,
with undeserved kindness, declares that we are righteous. He did this through
Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins. For God presented
Jesus as the sacrifice for sin. People are made right with God when they
believe that Jesus sacrificed his life, shedding his blood. This sacrifice
shows that God was being fair when he held back and did not punish those who
sinned in times past, for he was looking ahead and including them in what he
would do in this present time. God did this to demonstrate his righteousness,
for he himself is fair and just, and he declares sinners to be right in his
sight when they believe in Jesus.”
John 3:16-17 “For God loved the world so much
that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will
not perish but have eternal life. God sent his Son into the world not to judge
the world, but to save the world through him.”
NLT
Jesus is the
Anti-Bully
Philippians 2:5-11 “5 You must
have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. 6
Though he was God,
he
did not think of equality with God
as something to cling to.
Instead,
he gave up his divine privileges;
he took the
humble position of a slave
and was born as a human being.
When he appeared in human form,
8 he humbled himself
in obedience to God
and died a criminal's death on a cross.
Therefore,
God elevated him
to the place of highest honor
and gave him the name above all other names,\
that at the name of Jesus
every knee
should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the
earth,
and every tongue confess
that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.
1.
Have
the mind/attitude/love of Christ
2.
Follow
Christ’s example
a.
He
was EQUAL with God
b.
Yet,
He CHOSE to lower Himself to our level
i.
He
gave up the perfection of Heaven
ii.
He
came humbly to us, to the hogpen we had turned His earth into
iii.
Became
human
1.
Think
about that
iv.
Humble
v.
Obedient
vi.
Faithful
c.
Allowed
the very ones He had created destroy His Human flesh
3.
You
may think you are better than someone else but you are not
The Good News of Heaven
1.
There
are no bullies in Heaven
a.
Every
one there will bow before Jesus Christ
b.
He
will be primary
c.
You
will say He is the Ultimate and you are His humble sheep.